Patty Duke’s Story of the Cycle of Abuse

At one of Childhaven’s recent fundraising luncheons, attendees got to hear firsthand about how and why the cycle of abuse perpetuates itself, and why the work of Childhaven to stop it is so essential.

At the luncheon, actress, author and activist Patty Duke shared her story of being abused as a child, and how this led to suicidal thoughts and other mental health challenges. When she became a parent, Duke did what she never imagined doing, and abused her own children both physically and emotionally.

Duke wrote a guest column in the Seattle Times that same year. Here’s a portion of it:

Parents who hurt their children aren’t all monsters. I know. I was one of them. The physical abuse I inflicted on my two sons, Sean and Mac, was bad enough. But the emotional abuse was even worse.

After each incident, I swore I’d never do it again. But I did, even though I loved my children with all my heart. But my head was another story. I was unknowingly living with undiagnosed manic depression. The fact that I’d been physically and emotionally abused as a child myself didn’t help.

Because of what I put my kids through, I have compassion for other parents who do the same. I’m not a Pollyanna. I know that there are real monsters who do unforgiveable things to children. But I believe the majority of parents truly want to love and care for their kids. Mental illness, addiction or poor parenting role models stand in the way.

I want other parents to know that there is hope for them, too, if they are willing to face their demons and seek out the help that’s available to them.

One of Childhaven’s main reasons for existing is to stop this cycle of abuse by intervening when the children are still very young. Their staff works hard at showing them love, helping them learn to manage emotions in healthy ways, and leading them to learn, play, and solve problems and challenges. They also work with parents.

Protecting today’s children also protects tomorrow’s children, and this is why we give a portion of the proceeds from every home we sell to Childhaven.

The Pros and Cons of Heat Pumps

You may have heard about the recent push for heat pumps in the media, and wondered if this might be right for your home. I actually just had a heat pump installed in my own home, so I went through this decision-making process. Let’s take a quick look at what heat pumps have to offer, and potential drawbacks.

Heat Pump Advantages

The main advantages of a heat pump are:

Dual Purpose – Heat and Cool Your Home

Heat pumps will heat your home in winter, and they also cool it in the summer. That means you can achieve with one system what you needed both a furnace and an air conditioner to do before. This is one of the main reasons I opted for a heat pump. Previously, we had natural gas heat with no AC.

Energy Efficiency

Heat pumps use less energy than systems that generate their own heat. To heat your home, they take warm air from outside, compress it, and move it inside. To cool in the summer, they do the opposite – remove heat from the home and send it outside. This method is far more efficient and better for the environment.

Saves Money Over Time

Being more efficient, you will save money on your heating and cooling bills over time with a heat pump.

Increased Safety

Natural gas brings an increased safety risk from gas leaks and potential fires. Of course, this is very rare. But it does happen. Heat pumps carry no such risk.

Humidity

Because heat pumps move air, they help moderate the humidity in your home. In the summer, they remove humidity by transferring air to the outside. In the winter, they avoid drying out the air the way traditional furnaces can.

Heat Pump Disadvantages

There are a few disadvantages as well. Here are the main ones.

More Costly Installation

On the front end, you will pay a bit more for a heat pump. Over time, you save money, but at first, it’s a higher cost. Now, if you had to install both a furnace and an air conditioner, the costs would be closer, but most homes already have one or both of these.

A less costly version of a heat pump is a mini-split, which requires no duct work. For older homes where installing ducts would be very expensive, you can save money using a mini-split. Mini-splits use refrigerant lines instead of ducts, and still allow you to heat and cool individual rooms.

Less Effective in Extreme Cold

When there’s hardly any heat outside, the heat pump has to work very hard to heat your home. In these conditions, your efficiency declines and your costs increase. One way around this is to do what I did, and keep natural gas as a backup system to use when temperatures drop into the mid-30s. The newer heat pump systems will detect the outdoor temperature, and automatically switch to the backup heating system, in my case the gas furnace.